Tips on how to let go of the past to make room for new experiences – and even a new relationship.
I love this time of year – spring is a time of renewal, of fresh starts. It’s also a good time for new relationships.
Whether you’re just starting to date again after a bad break-up or you’re looking for someone with long-term potential, this is a great time to put yourself out there. But it’s not always so easy to do. The key to opening yourself up to new love is acknowledging your current baggage – and letting it go. I like to think of it as spring cleaning your love life.
Following are some tips to getting a fresh start to your love life:
Assess your baggage. Everyone comes to relationships with baggage – it’s part of the deal. The key to successfully managing the baggage is to acknowledge your own history and weaknesses. This way, you know your tendencies in any new relationship. For example, do you tend to be clingy or jealous when you start to get intimate with someone? If so, then take a step back and don’t jump in to anything too quickly. Take your time.
Are you longing for your ex? Maybe you haven’t quite gotten over someone from your past. Do you find yourself comparing new boyfriends to him, or checking your phone to see if he called? If you’re still harboring feelings, it’s time to let them go. And don’t allow yourself any temptations. Don’t call him when you’re lonely and de-friend him on Facebook. Keep your lives separate until you’ve truly moved on.
Do you put up walls? Maybe you’ve been in one too many bad relationships, and you’re skeptical of anything that seems too good to be true. Before you dismiss your new crush or figure out a way to end things before you get hurt, try opening your heart a little more. Take it slowly and enjoy the moment. If you’re looking for something long-term, give it a chance to get there.
Are your dates all the same? Maybe you’re comfortable meeting at bars or coffeeshops, but don’t your dates all start to blend together? If you’re bored with your dating routine, how can you be enthusiastic about meeting anyone? If you really want to click with someone, mix things up. Go for a walk in the park, followed by a picnic outdoors. Ride bikes through the neighborhood. Cook something together. There are so many options, especially since the weather is getting nicer. Try to choose something you really want to do, so then even if the date isn’t so great you’re getting to do something you like. If you choose an activity to do together, it tends to break down communication barriers so you can really get to know each other. Plus, it makes dating more interesting.
Get out there. If you have anything holding you back, it’s time to throw caution to the wind and let it go. Hate the idea of online dating? Join a site and try it out. Are you too afraid to ask your friends to set you up? Then do it without hesitation. Often, those things we fear most are what end up holding us back, so do yourself a favor and let those fears go, too.
Happy spring cleaning!