Getting tested for Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) is an important concept to understand and apply when it comes to dating someone. Many people trust that everything is OK, until it isn’t. There are also many counterproductive feelings, conversations and fights that occur when one’s partner doesn’t get tested for various reasons. One problem that couples face is a scare of a past disease or a scare of an infection. But who’s fault is it? Should you have asked your partner to get tested before engaging in any sexual acts or should your partner have been upfront with you about their sexual history?
Nowadays, there isn’t any reason to be irresponsible when it comes to fornication and oral sex. There are so many resources available to men and women to practice safe sex. But being in a moment, generally outweighs stopping and taking a walk down to the local clinic. So even if in a previous relationship you have made a few mistakes, or even one, it is imperative that you get tested.
You cannot trust someone simply because they “look clean”. Before hooking up, make sure that not only your partner gets tested but that you also do the same. Situations come up all of the time where partners overact to each other’s comments but I’ll let you decide who’s fault it is and maybe put a few comments in perspective.
A: I was looking over some medical records at work and noticed that a couple was taking medicine for genital warts. I’m so glad that we don’t have to go through that.
B: I know, right! I mean last year my doctor’s thought that I might have had it but thankfully I don’t.
A: What?!? What do you mean they thought you had it? Did you get tested?
B: I was going to, but the doctor said it was fine. The infection went away and it wouldn’t have with this medicine if it were herpes.
A: So we’ve had sex and you never told me this? And you never actually got tested? What if you are passing it on to me?
B: Like I said, I don’t have it, the doctors just thought that I might but I was prescribed a lot of different medicine that made my infection worse and look like a herpes outbreak, but it wasn’t. Why are you so bothered?
A: I trusted you. I thought since we were together that you would have definitely disclosed this to me. I don’t think we should do anything together until you get tested.
So what do you think? Who is at fault? On one hand, you have a partner who had this herpes scare and was told by the doctor’s that he was OK. On the other, you have a partner that became scared at the mere mention that their partner could have had Herpes. But let’s be honest. Do you really just trust a person that he or she has a clean bill of health? If your partner is so emotional and upset that you “went behind their back”, making love to them and not divulging this information, don’t you think this person should have told you to get tested before diving into the goods? It is rather hypocritical to jump down someone’s back, when you are not even taking real precautions because trusting that everything is OK is not a good method of protecting against sexually transmitted infections and diseases.
Now let’s look at it from the receiving end. If your partner informs you that they might have had syphilis, herpes, or HIV, you would get pretty freaked out. Although you can cure a case of syphilis with a shot of penicillin, herpes, HIV and AIDS are all infections that will stay with you for the rest of your life and even possible cutting your time on this lovely Earth short. So when you say to your partner “hey guess what, I thought I had XYZ” don’t expect a gleeful reaction.
If a scare is only a scare, and you are POSITIVE that you are not carrying any STDs then why is it worth mentioning? Some people feel like they should spill their life story, of every scratch they had in life along with every trip to the doctor. Reality check. These are the types of stories that no one really wants to know about and aren’t going to make for a great discussion unless you love the idea of fighting with your partner.
Some events are better left unsaid. All they do is create false scares, jealousy of the people of your past and all around negative vibes. If you are going to overact such as the person in the example above, you are not innocent if you aren’t telling your partner to get tested. Put your foot down and get the job done. Get tested for STDs together. Don’t assume people will be honest and straightforward about their past. Plus, once you both come up with a clean bill of health, there is no need to even mention instances of possible diseases.