Nowadays you can’t turn on the television past ten o’clock at night without seeing two scantily clad, drunk, young girls, sloppily making out with each other while some dude, with a camcorder from Fry’s, records the whole fiasco. Is it hot? Hell yeah! Is it bisexuality? I don’t think so. Now, I could be wrong because this is solely based upon my personal opinion, but I don’t think these booze drenched, college playground encounters qualify as bisexuality. Why? Simple. I’ve done it and I’m not bisexual.
“What??” you say. “How can that be? Surely you’re bisexual!” Nope. Not me. And let me explain why I don’t identify as such.
Back in my drinking and ‘partying all night’ days, I had kissed a few girls. Lets face it, girls are great kissers. Girls kiss girls the way girls want to be kissed. Besides they’re soft and little and they smell good. I would almost venture to say that I prefer kissing girls but I’m afraid my husband would divorce me – so I’m not going to say that. I have even gone farther than just ‘kissing’ with girls, but when faced with the question “Are you bisexual?” my answer is always “No.” The reason being is that I have never been in a relationship with a girl, nor do I have any desire to. In my humble opinion, to qualify as bisexual one must be able to fall in love with and be in a relationship with a member of the same sex. Not just grope and kiss and do fun things that you would never tell your mother about. Especially if every time you have these experiences you happen to be intoxicated.
In a discussion regarding the ‘Girls Gone Wild’ type videos and true bisexuality or “just adventurous,” a Facebook friend had this to say:
“I’d say ‘just adventurous’ in those settings. Just playin’ up to the camera and crowd. Never could find (true bisexuals) for real, back in the day…”
I too tend to think of it as just playing up to the camera. The girls know what is hot, what gets attention, and what will get them in the video; but I have a hard time picturing any of them in a relationship together and arguing over who is going to pay which bill or who left the cap off the toothpaste.
Lets look at this from another perspective; I have many gay friends, both male and female, who have had sexual experiences with members of the opposite sex, but they don’t identify as bisexual, they solely identify as gay. And although very few talk about it, there are many heterosexual men who have experimented to one degree or another in their youth but would NEVER identify as bisexual. And I’m not speaking of homophobes or closeted homosexuals. I mean honest to goodness, beer drinking, football watching, farting and laughing, Nascar hat wearing, hetero men. (Just don’t try to get them to admit to their experimenting.)
My friend Teresa hit the nail on the head when she said, “I always thought the terms Bisexual/Gay/Lesbian/etc., in their true sense, had to deal with “loving” somebody. Terms like heteroflexible/homoflexible were more for adventure and play.”
My point exactly. And there is nothing wrong with a little fun. (wink)
I think the term “bisexual” has become a fad or a ‘feather in the cap’ of young girls who want to appear wild and desirable in today’s climate of “the more extreme, the better.” It has become a “Looky what I can do in front of a crowd of people” mentality, as opposed to true identity clarification.
I know that the topic of this article is agitating a lot of you and making the hair stand up on the back of your necks. And quite frankly, I’m glad. “Why do we have to label it at all??” is what you are screaming at your computer monitor. I agree. We shouldn’t have to. I venture to guess that when homophobia and gay discrimination are a thing of the past, terms like “bisexuality” will just fall by the wayside. I for one, cannot wait for that day.